Dr. Pants
By Colleen Chen
After years of denied applications to join the Association of Archvillains of the City of Peaceville, Dr. Pants was thrilled to be accepted. He had presented his case successfully that his ability to make anyone’s pants fall down with just a snap and point of his fingers could be an asset to the Association’s plans to terrorize Peaceville.
“In the last week, I’ve pantsed eleven policemen who were chasing criminals, and all of the criminals escaped. I caused three people standing on building ledges and threatening suicide to lose their balance and fall. And, I took down the Mayor’s pants and his boxers when he was giving a speech about family values on live television.”
“Excellent work,” said Sir Zombalot, the President of the Association. “Your skills will come in handy tonight. I’ve amassed an army of zombies inside the Peaceville Prison, and tonight we break them out
and flood the city with zombies. We’ll need to disable the prison guards, the police, and the half-dozen superheroes dastardly enough to make their homes in Peaceville.”
“I’ll make you proud,” Dr. Pants said.
That night, Dr. Pants went to the prison and waited outside with Sir Zombalot.
“I got the cue—pants the guard now!” Sir Zombalot said.
“What guard?”
“The one putting food in the cell. We need him to trip and fall so a zombie inmate can grab him!”
“Oh…I can’t pants anyone unless I can see them.”
The zombies managed to grab the guard anyhow, and they got out. They stumbled out of the prison and began to move en masse towards the city center.
Soon the police by ground and the superheroes by air came to face the zombie horde. Dr. Pants snapped his fingers and pointed at the policemen’s pants. The pants stayed put.
“Ha ha!” a policeman cried, lopping off a zombie head. “We got an alert about you, Dr. Pants! Pantsing-proof belts are now regulation.”
The superheroes in the air were knocking off even more zombie heads. Dr. Pants snapped and pointed. The superheroes’ underwear, located on the outside of their pants, slid off easily. But the superheroes shook it off without missing a beat, and it actually made them faster without the extra layer. Soon the zombies were almost all contained.
“Dr. Pants, you are a disgrace to the Association!” Sir Zombalot shouted. “Your membership is terminated!”
Dr. Pants walked from the battle scene, sobbing.
On the road, he saw another horde of zombies coming from the other direction. It was at least twice as large as the other had been. Dr. Pants realized that the prison zombies had only been a decoy! These zombies were almost upon the city center, with no one to stop them.
Dr. Pants snapped and pointed. The zombies’ pants fell. Then the zombies fell, and they lay there, moaning, unable to figure out how to pull their pants back up.
“You are our hero,” the mayor declared later, on live television, as he pinned a medal of honor on Dr. Pants’ chest.
- - -
Colleen Chen lives on a farm in rural Brazil. Her website is www.colleenchen.com
By Colleen Chen
After years of denied applications to join the Association of Archvillains of the City of Peaceville, Dr. Pants was thrilled to be accepted. He had presented his case successfully that his ability to make anyone’s pants fall down with just a snap and point of his fingers could be an asset to the Association’s plans to terrorize Peaceville.
“In the last week, I’ve pantsed eleven policemen who were chasing criminals, and all of the criminals escaped. I caused three people standing on building ledges and threatening suicide to lose their balance and fall. And, I took down the Mayor’s pants and his boxers when he was giving a speech about family values on live television.”
“Excellent work,” said Sir Zombalot, the President of the Association. “Your skills will come in handy tonight. I’ve amassed an army of zombies inside the Peaceville Prison, and tonight we break them out
and flood the city with zombies. We’ll need to disable the prison guards, the police, and the half-dozen superheroes dastardly enough to make their homes in Peaceville.”
“I’ll make you proud,” Dr. Pants said.
That night, Dr. Pants went to the prison and waited outside with Sir Zombalot.
“I got the cue—pants the guard now!” Sir Zombalot said.
“What guard?”
“The one putting food in the cell. We need him to trip and fall so a zombie inmate can grab him!”
“Oh…I can’t pants anyone unless I can see them.”
The zombies managed to grab the guard anyhow, and they got out. They stumbled out of the prison and began to move en masse towards the city center.
Soon the police by ground and the superheroes by air came to face the zombie horde. Dr. Pants snapped his fingers and pointed at the policemen’s pants. The pants stayed put.
“Ha ha!” a policeman cried, lopping off a zombie head. “We got an alert about you, Dr. Pants! Pantsing-proof belts are now regulation.”
The superheroes in the air were knocking off even more zombie heads. Dr. Pants snapped and pointed. The superheroes’ underwear, located on the outside of their pants, slid off easily. But the superheroes shook it off without missing a beat, and it actually made them faster without the extra layer. Soon the zombies were almost all contained.
“Dr. Pants, you are a disgrace to the Association!” Sir Zombalot shouted. “Your membership is terminated!”
Dr. Pants walked from the battle scene, sobbing.
On the road, he saw another horde of zombies coming from the other direction. It was at least twice as large as the other had been. Dr. Pants realized that the prison zombies had only been a decoy! These zombies were almost upon the city center, with no one to stop them.
Dr. Pants snapped and pointed. The zombies’ pants fell. Then the zombies fell, and they lay there, moaning, unable to figure out how to pull their pants back up.
“You are our hero,” the mayor declared later, on live television, as he pinned a medal of honor on Dr. Pants’ chest.
- - -
Colleen Chen lives on a farm in rural Brazil. Her website is www.colleenchen.com
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