The Restroom
By Richard Colman
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Richard Colman is a novelist and short story writer focused mainly in Horror and Suspense, based in Hertfordshire, UK.
http://richardcolman.wordpress.com
By Richard Colman
Peter slammed the office door behind him and went straight down the corridor into the gentleman’s restroom. Fortunately his preferred cubicle was free, so he went in, locked the door, sat on the stool and then gave out a deep and heavy sigh.
What an idiot his boss was. What an absolute idiot.
‘Hey partner.’ Said a voice coming from the cubicle next to him on right. ‘Having a rough day?’
‘Yeah, you could say that.’ Answered Peter hesitantly.
‘What is it that you’re doing in there; number 1’s or number 2’s? Or is it number 3’s?’
This made Peter sputter out a small chuckle. ‘Number 3s?’
‘Yeah! That’s when you’re doing neither a number 1 or 2, but rather sitting on the toilet and just simply thinking and contemplating, you know, working things out. A man can do some of his best thinking on top of the John, just shooting the breeze with no one else but himself for company. Why I bet right now the top of your trousers are nowhere near your ankles.’
‘You got me there. I guess I’m doing a number 3 in here then.’ Peter got out his pack of cigarettes and lit up one of the sticks with his matches from his back pocket. ‘You doing a number 3 too?’
‘Nope. Bad case of number 2’s I’m afraid. I got a bit of time left if you want to talk though partner?’
What the hell… Peter wasn’t in any hurry to go back to work.
‘It’s the boss.’ Said Peter. ‘He’s been giving me more of a hard time at work than usual. Sales are down and he’s blaming me for it, says I have to do work overtime with no extra pay to get them up again if I want to keep my job.’
‘That’s heavy.’ Replied the stranger’s voice. ‘I had a ball-buster of a boss similar to yours. Know what I did about it?’
‘What?’
‘I got rid of him.’
Peter took a drag of his cigarette and flicked the ash on top of the toilet roll holder. ‘You got rid of him? How did you do it, got him fired or something?’
‘Nope, I killed him.’
Peter laughed at the stranger’s bluntness. ‘Yeah? Just like that right, huh?’
‘Just like that. You wanna know how I did it?’
‘I’m not sure I do actually.’
‘Oh, come on. Are you going to sit there and tell me that you’ve never even once thought about topping your boss?’
Peter took another toke on his stick, and held in the smoke for a while before exhaling. Once? He thought. Try thinking about it every single day.
‘I take that silence as a yes then.’ Continued the man. ‘I wouldn’t sweat it; I won’t tell anyone. Hell, everybody has thought about killing their boss at least once before. It would be less natural if they didn’t. The difference is that I actually had the guts to do it.’
The restroom door swung open, and the man temporarily stopped the conversation. The sound of footsteps made their way towards one of the urinals. Peter took one last drag and then stumped out his cigarette, fanning the smoke away with his hands. It could have been his boss; the man had a poor bladder and was constantly leaving the office to relieve himself. That would be the cherry on the cake, catching him smoking in the toilets. That’s all he needed.
The flush of the urinal was followed by the footsteps retreating back out the restroom. Once the door was fully shut, Peter sighed in relief.
‘The dirty bugger didn’t even wash his hands. You know, one in six people apparently don’t wash their hands are going to the toilet. Make you wonder when you shake hands with someone doesn’t it.’ This made Peter let out another soft laugh, mainly to keep the guy next to him amused. ‘D’ya reckon that was your boss?’
‘Could have been. The man goes like a racehorse about a dozen times a day.’
‘So...’
‘So what?’
‘So did you want my help or not?’
‘Your help in doing what?’
The man laughed. ‘Getting rid of your boss, of course. What the hell do you think we’ve been talking about?’
‘God, you’re not serious are you?’
‘Look partner, I understand what you’re going through. I’ve been there. I was the same sorry sap before I took any action, so I’d like to help you. What do you say?’
Peter breathed heavily. Was this guy for real? Did he actually know how to ‘get rid’ of someone for good? If he did, he was damn good about it, as Peter had heard nothing about anyone in the office building mysteriously vanishing…
What the hell…
‘You got any ideas then?’ Asked Peter.
‘Thought you’d never ask! I’m just about wrapped up here. Let’s talk outside these little isolation boxes.’
Peter flushed the toilet through false of habit, and unlocked the cubicle door to greet the stranger. As he stepped out, he noticed that the cubicle next to him was empty.
‘Hey? Where did you go?’ Said Peter, looking around the restroom for the gentleman.
‘Don’t forget to wash your hands, remember!’ Said the voice again. Peter turned and looked at the mirror over the sink.
‘Oh, there you are. So what’s your plan then…?’- - -
Richard Colman is a novelist and short story writer focused mainly in Horror and Suspense, based in Hertfordshire, UK.
http://richardcolman.wordpress.com
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Wow, did not see that end coming right off. Creepy. Has he done this before?