Your Schedule will be Simple
By E.S. Wynn
Your schedule will be simple. You are advised to remember it.
Each night’s allotted sleep interval will end at 5:30 AM. At 5:35 AM, your regulation sleeping unit is programmed to forcibly remove you by retracting into the wall. You will be allowed five to twenty minutes, depending on your showering group, after the retraction of the sleeping unit in which to orient yourself and ingest protein supplements. Showering facilities are down the hall fifty-two doors and on the right. Your showering group is group blue, which comes between groups green and yellow, except on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, when it will come between violet and orange. Do not shower with a group other than your own, or you will be denied your next showering interval. The showering facilities will be available to each group for three minutes only, at which point the facilities will shut off momentarily to admit the next group. Remember, it is important not to attempt to shower with any group other than your own.
After showering, you will be assigned clothing for the day. Pay attention to the color of your clothing. White and blue uniforms must report to the central laboratory nexus and will spend their twelve hour work interval processing data and calculations, white uniforms in the primary lab, and blue uniforms in the secondary. Green and red uniforms must also report to the central laboratory nexus, but will spend their work interval tending the genevats. Green uniforms will be assigned to levels Blue, Red, and Orange, and red uniforms will be assigned to levels Yellow, Green, and Violet. It is important to see your shift supervisor for your individual assignment. Failure to proceed to the proper level will result in being assigned a second work interval.
Orange uniforms will be required to report to the central industrial nexus for chemical processing assignments. Because the nature of these assignments can be hazardous to your health, you will be assigned safety gear tailored to protect you from the specific dangers of the area in which you will be assigned. Loss of or damage to this safety gear will result in being assigned an additional work interval, as will failure to wear the recommended safety gear and/or the use of gear tailored for use in another area.
Brown uniforms indicate an interval of janitorial work. Report to lower-echelon operations for specific assignments. Each assignment you are given during your work interval will be logged, and used to corroborate fault if an accident, injury, or illness should result from use of an area that you were assigned to clean and/or sterilize. If such an incident should occur, expect to incur a minimum penalty of a second work interval as punishment.
If you are assigned a black uniform, report to the central relations office immediately. Population restrictions on the facility require us to terminate or reassign at least five persons per week. Do not count on reassignment. Requesting reassignment to another facility will result in termination.
During your twelve hour work interval, you will be given three break periods of twenty minutes each, one at 8:00 AM, one at 12:20PM, and one at 4:40PM. At 6:00 PM, a tone will sound, and you will proceed to the central recreation nexus for your rest interval. Do not attempt to prolong your break periods. Doing so will result in being assigned a second work interval. Attempting to prolong your work interval will also result in the assignment of a second work interval, but elsewhere within the same facility.
After successful completion of your work interval, you will be granted fifteen minutes in which to ingest protein supplements and orient yourself again. One hour and forty-five minutes per day is required for social interaction, and unwillingness to participate in officially sanctioned social activities will be logged and may result in being assigned an additional work interval. If such behavior becomes habitual, you may be assigned a black uniform on your next work interval.
At 8:00 PM the social interaction phase of your rest interval will end, and you will be required to proceed to the central information nexus for two hours of educational programming. This programming will focus on assisting you with increasing the efficiency of your work and the productivity of your work intervals. At ten, you will be assigned a minimum of two hundred pages of material relevant to the educational programming, and you are required to report back to your rest cubicle for your allotted sleep interval. This material must be read during your sleep interval, and a twenty-question test will be given on the knowledge contained therein at the start of your next work interval. You will have five minutes in which to complete this test. Low test scores will result in being assigned an additional work interval. Habitually low test scores will result in the assignment of a black uniform.
You are not allowed out to deviate from this schedule or proceed to areas of the facility in which you are not granted access by specific assignment. You also will notice that your resting cubicle consists of only one room. It has been designed that way so that the camera mounted in the corner can observe any illicit activities that might take place in the cubicle. If illicit behavior is observed, or if you are detected outside of your resting cubicle for any reason other than those listed in the schedule provided for you, the collar around your neck will administer a series of electric shocks to near-lethal effect that will incapacitate you until security arrives to administer sufficient punishment and confiscate any illicit or unsanctioned materials, objects, or information that might be present.
You will be allowed one such offense. Second offense will automatically result in termination by lethal electric shock.
It is important that you respect and obey all staff and shift supervisors regardless of the instructions they may give you. Failure to do so may result in your collar administering warning shocks. These shocks are painful, but cause very little permanent damage, however repeated offenses will result in increasingly more powerful shocks until compliance is achieved, or until a lethal dose is required to rectify the situation. Intentional damage to other residents, staff, equipment, or the facility will result in termination and a large enforcement fee plus applicable local, corporate and state government taxes in addition to a processing fee of five thousand dollars all of which will be deducted from your estate with the remainder forwarded to your closest living genetic relative.
Thank you, and welcome to Leisure Meadows facility 2678A, the only choice for the restful and respectful retirement you deserve. We hope you enjoy your stay with us and find every morning as joyful and productive as our best and most loyal residents already do.
Failure to sign this notice and provide it in triplicate to the Central Relations Office may result in being assigned a black uniform on your next work interval.
- - -
E.S. Wynn is one cool frood who always knows where his towel is.
By E.S. Wynn
Your schedule will be simple. You are advised to remember it.
Each night’s allotted sleep interval will end at 5:30 AM. At 5:35 AM, your regulation sleeping unit is programmed to forcibly remove you by retracting into the wall. You will be allowed five to twenty minutes, depending on your showering group, after the retraction of the sleeping unit in which to orient yourself and ingest protein supplements. Showering facilities are down the hall fifty-two doors and on the right. Your showering group is group blue, which comes between groups green and yellow, except on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, when it will come between violet and orange. Do not shower with a group other than your own, or you will be denied your next showering interval. The showering facilities will be available to each group for three minutes only, at which point the facilities will shut off momentarily to admit the next group. Remember, it is important not to attempt to shower with any group other than your own.
After showering, you will be assigned clothing for the day. Pay attention to the color of your clothing. White and blue uniforms must report to the central laboratory nexus and will spend their twelve hour work interval processing data and calculations, white uniforms in the primary lab, and blue uniforms in the secondary. Green and red uniforms must also report to the central laboratory nexus, but will spend their work interval tending the genevats. Green uniforms will be assigned to levels Blue, Red, and Orange, and red uniforms will be assigned to levels Yellow, Green, and Violet. It is important to see your shift supervisor for your individual assignment. Failure to proceed to the proper level will result in being assigned a second work interval.
Orange uniforms will be required to report to the central industrial nexus for chemical processing assignments. Because the nature of these assignments can be hazardous to your health, you will be assigned safety gear tailored to protect you from the specific dangers of the area in which you will be assigned. Loss of or damage to this safety gear will result in being assigned an additional work interval, as will failure to wear the recommended safety gear and/or the use of gear tailored for use in another area.
Brown uniforms indicate an interval of janitorial work. Report to lower-echelon operations for specific assignments. Each assignment you are given during your work interval will be logged, and used to corroborate fault if an accident, injury, or illness should result from use of an area that you were assigned to clean and/or sterilize. If such an incident should occur, expect to incur a minimum penalty of a second work interval as punishment.
If you are assigned a black uniform, report to the central relations office immediately. Population restrictions on the facility require us to terminate or reassign at least five persons per week. Do not count on reassignment. Requesting reassignment to another facility will result in termination.
During your twelve hour work interval, you will be given three break periods of twenty minutes each, one at 8:00 AM, one at 12:20PM, and one at 4:40PM. At 6:00 PM, a tone will sound, and you will proceed to the central recreation nexus for your rest interval. Do not attempt to prolong your break periods. Doing so will result in being assigned a second work interval. Attempting to prolong your work interval will also result in the assignment of a second work interval, but elsewhere within the same facility.
After successful completion of your work interval, you will be granted fifteen minutes in which to ingest protein supplements and orient yourself again. One hour and forty-five minutes per day is required for social interaction, and unwillingness to participate in officially sanctioned social activities will be logged and may result in being assigned an additional work interval. If such behavior becomes habitual, you may be assigned a black uniform on your next work interval.
At 8:00 PM the social interaction phase of your rest interval will end, and you will be required to proceed to the central information nexus for two hours of educational programming. This programming will focus on assisting you with increasing the efficiency of your work and the productivity of your work intervals. At ten, you will be assigned a minimum of two hundred pages of material relevant to the educational programming, and you are required to report back to your rest cubicle for your allotted sleep interval. This material must be read during your sleep interval, and a twenty-question test will be given on the knowledge contained therein at the start of your next work interval. You will have five minutes in which to complete this test. Low test scores will result in being assigned an additional work interval. Habitually low test scores will result in the assignment of a black uniform.
You are not allowed out to deviate from this schedule or proceed to areas of the facility in which you are not granted access by specific assignment. You also will notice that your resting cubicle consists of only one room. It has been designed that way so that the camera mounted in the corner can observe any illicit activities that might take place in the cubicle. If illicit behavior is observed, or if you are detected outside of your resting cubicle for any reason other than those listed in the schedule provided for you, the collar around your neck will administer a series of electric shocks to near-lethal effect that will incapacitate you until security arrives to administer sufficient punishment and confiscate any illicit or unsanctioned materials, objects, or information that might be present.
You will be allowed one such offense. Second offense will automatically result in termination by lethal electric shock.
It is important that you respect and obey all staff and shift supervisors regardless of the instructions they may give you. Failure to do so may result in your collar administering warning shocks. These shocks are painful, but cause very little permanent damage, however repeated offenses will result in increasingly more powerful shocks until compliance is achieved, or until a lethal dose is required to rectify the situation. Intentional damage to other residents, staff, equipment, or the facility will result in termination and a large enforcement fee plus applicable local, corporate and state government taxes in addition to a processing fee of five thousand dollars all of which will be deducted from your estate with the remainder forwarded to your closest living genetic relative.
Thank you, and welcome to Leisure Meadows facility 2678A, the only choice for the restful and respectful retirement you deserve. We hope you enjoy your stay with us and find every morning as joyful and productive as our best and most loyal residents already do.
Failure to sign this notice and provide it in triplicate to the Central Relations Office may result in being assigned a black uniform on your next work interval.
- - -
E.S. Wynn is one cool frood who always knows where his towel is.
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