11/22/09
The Plan
By Anon Future


$700 at Smitty’s gun shop. Pick up name: “John Booth.”

$33 at Make-a-Plushie. Request the castle box, the one with the high sides that clasp in the middle. Buy “La Burra” the donkey, choose setting: extra love. Throw excess stuffing in the can on the corner five blocks away. Leave enough in “La Burra” to cushion the “package” and then secure it for inspection.

$18 holding fee at the ticket window for Toon-e-land. Reserved under last name “Wilkes.” Take “Tour Pass” option ($45). Proceed through baggage check and into the park. Gate furthest to the left has no metal detector.

Once inside, proceed to the tour booth and join the 10:45 underground run. Half way through the tour, the guide will lead your group up to the surface to “catch a breather.” Once the tour continues, break away from the group and cross Cartoon Plaza to the Kitty Cat Kitchen and request outdoor seating. Order the farmyard leghorn platter ($18.95) and ask that an “ice tea” ($1.95) be brought for your “lady friend who is coming.” Set the Make-a-Plushie box on the table longways with the end pointed toward the largest section of the outdoor seating area. Unclasp the box, but do not open it. Stay until senator Wilson and her wife arrive for lunch. Do not make eye contact with the senator, her security or any member of her family.

The shift change will occur at 1:35 PST. You will have approximately fifteen seconds to remove the “package” from “La Burra” and make the necessary changes to the timeline. Afterward, drop the “package” and lay down on the floor with your hands behind your head. Allow law enforcement to detain and search you. Recovery will occur at 7:42 PST.

The history of the future depends on your performance, Operative.
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