My biped babies
By Sibel Catana
The pain was unbearable, but I pushed through it by counting the seconds. I looked at the clock on the wall. It was in between my legs and it shrunk – with each passing minute it shrunk until it became a big smudge, a blur. A sweat drop got in my eye. The nice big-breasted nurse came and wiped my forehead. I grabbed the bed sheet and squeezed it as hard as I could. The pain…
‘The pain is growing… is it normal?’
‘Yes, it is.’ She said all-knowing and wise. She has seen so many horrors that she didn’t even flinch at the sound of my screaming. She smiled. ‘I can make this easier for you.’ She asked me a question. I wanted to say no, to be brave and take it like a real woman. The nurse waited for an answer. ‘Do you want me to sedate you?’
‘No, no, please. I want to feel it all and I want to be able to defend myself against the thing that comes out of me.’
She laughed. ‘Don’t worry, I am pretty sure it won’t be able to do much, other than kick its limbs around and scream.’
‘You don’t know that! Who knows what kind of a monster it is.’
‘True!’
I looked at the people outside the delivery room who waited for the show to begin. That’s what my pain was for them, a show. There were journalists, photographers ready to snap the picture, the doctors and nurses waiting for the “miracle” to happen.
‘Will you stay and help me?’ I asked, hoping that someone would comfort me through the ordeal.
‘Ha ha, of course not. I will be there, on the other side of the window cheering you on and hoping you’ll be okay. This area will be contaminated as soon as you give birth, so we need to isolate you and your little Nosferatu, alright?’
I wasn’t happy about the arrangement, but there was little I could do about it. The Feds were there, the CIA, the Russians, the first man on the moon. The nurse took a few steps towards the door.
‘What will happen? Can you explain to me, please?’ my voice died out like a jingle toy when the battery runs out.
‘I would tell you, but the truth is I don’t know.’
‘What do you mean you don’t know? Haven’t you seen this before?’
‘It might come as a surprise to you, but this is my first time. Don’t worry, I will be right here if you need any help.’ She pointed at the large windows full of anxious spectators eating chips and popcorn. ‘Chances are that your baby won’t be able to do much when it comes out.’
‘But what if it will be powerful and kill me?’
I felt a burning sensation in my stomach. The nurse looked at me, not knowing what to do.
‘Is this the labor pain?’ I yelled at her as one of the doctors opened the door and told Dolly Parton to get the hell out of the room.
‘I don’t know!’ she ran out and took her place at the window. She clenched her fist and looked at me. Yeah, I can be strong, I thought. Then I saw a red light piercing through my stomach. It created a circle in my belly. The pain was so big that I thought I would pass out, but I didn’t. I kept watching. It smelled like burnt flesh. Somehow this baby had a laser. It pushed the chunk of flesh out of the way and poked its head out, looked around and when it saw me, it looked deep into my eyes and said “Mamma!”
It wasn’t the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, it wasn’t a miracle and I had no idea how I got impregnated with this thing. The baby was half lizard, half parasite, but all comedian. It had eight feet, a long tail and a notion of what the middle finger is, as it flashed it towards the Feds. I heard some commotion in the hall.
The baby disappeared in my belly and I wondered where the hell it went. I tried to reach my hand inside to pull it out, but I couldn’t find it. Moments later, two heads popped out, they looked around, looked at me, then they looked at each other and laughed. It was the most beautiful laugh I ever heard. I knew what I had to do.
I took the syringe with anesthetic and I injected it in my abdomen, then I sewed it shut. They looked at me as I was doing it and continued to laugh like that damn cartoon dog, Muttley. The spectators wanted to come in and take my babies. I knew they wanted to kill them.
When I was done, my little lizards jumped for joy. I took them in my arms, opened the window, jumped out and ran. I ran until I found a safe place outside of town, an abandoned house.
They grew up fast by sucking the blood of cows, sheep and horses in the area. My little biped lizards create crop circles with obscenities, because they found a Hustler magazine and took that as an inspiration. Chip and Dale think hard before creating another one and they always come up with new things. You could say they are innovators. Last week they did a crop circle with two dildos French-kissing each other. Too bad they rarely show their creations on TV…
- - -
Sibel Catana is a psychologist and an artist. She is obsessed with the works of John Fowles, Salvador Dali, Rubens and Tchaikovsky. Her work was published in New Plains Review, Third Wednesday, Ascent Aspiration, Weave, Milton Keynes.
By Sibel Catana
The pain was unbearable, but I pushed through it by counting the seconds. I looked at the clock on the wall. It was in between my legs and it shrunk – with each passing minute it shrunk until it became a big smudge, a blur. A sweat drop got in my eye. The nice big-breasted nurse came and wiped my forehead. I grabbed the bed sheet and squeezed it as hard as I could. The pain…
‘The pain is growing… is it normal?’
‘Yes, it is.’ She said all-knowing and wise. She has seen so many horrors that she didn’t even flinch at the sound of my screaming. She smiled. ‘I can make this easier for you.’ She asked me a question. I wanted to say no, to be brave and take it like a real woman. The nurse waited for an answer. ‘Do you want me to sedate you?’
‘No, no, please. I want to feel it all and I want to be able to defend myself against the thing that comes out of me.’
She laughed. ‘Don’t worry, I am pretty sure it won’t be able to do much, other than kick its limbs around and scream.’
‘You don’t know that! Who knows what kind of a monster it is.’
‘True!’
I looked at the people outside the delivery room who waited for the show to begin. That’s what my pain was for them, a show. There were journalists, photographers ready to snap the picture, the doctors and nurses waiting for the “miracle” to happen.
‘Will you stay and help me?’ I asked, hoping that someone would comfort me through the ordeal.
‘Ha ha, of course not. I will be there, on the other side of the window cheering you on and hoping you’ll be okay. This area will be contaminated as soon as you give birth, so we need to isolate you and your little Nosferatu, alright?’
I wasn’t happy about the arrangement, but there was little I could do about it. The Feds were there, the CIA, the Russians, the first man on the moon. The nurse took a few steps towards the door.
‘What will happen? Can you explain to me, please?’ my voice died out like a jingle toy when the battery runs out.
‘I would tell you, but the truth is I don’t know.’
‘What do you mean you don’t know? Haven’t you seen this before?’
‘It might come as a surprise to you, but this is my first time. Don’t worry, I will be right here if you need any help.’ She pointed at the large windows full of anxious spectators eating chips and popcorn. ‘Chances are that your baby won’t be able to do much when it comes out.’
‘But what if it will be powerful and kill me?’
I felt a burning sensation in my stomach. The nurse looked at me, not knowing what to do.
‘Is this the labor pain?’ I yelled at her as one of the doctors opened the door and told Dolly Parton to get the hell out of the room.
‘I don’t know!’ she ran out and took her place at the window. She clenched her fist and looked at me. Yeah, I can be strong, I thought. Then I saw a red light piercing through my stomach. It created a circle in my belly. The pain was so big that I thought I would pass out, but I didn’t. I kept watching. It smelled like burnt flesh. Somehow this baby had a laser. It pushed the chunk of flesh out of the way and poked its head out, looked around and when it saw me, it looked deep into my eyes and said “Mamma!”
It wasn’t the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, it wasn’t a miracle and I had no idea how I got impregnated with this thing. The baby was half lizard, half parasite, but all comedian. It had eight feet, a long tail and a notion of what the middle finger is, as it flashed it towards the Feds. I heard some commotion in the hall.
The baby disappeared in my belly and I wondered where the hell it went. I tried to reach my hand inside to pull it out, but I couldn’t find it. Moments later, two heads popped out, they looked around, looked at me, then they looked at each other and laughed. It was the most beautiful laugh I ever heard. I knew what I had to do.
I took the syringe with anesthetic and I injected it in my abdomen, then I sewed it shut. They looked at me as I was doing it and continued to laugh like that damn cartoon dog, Muttley. The spectators wanted to come in and take my babies. I knew they wanted to kill them.
When I was done, my little lizards jumped for joy. I took them in my arms, opened the window, jumped out and ran. I ran until I found a safe place outside of town, an abandoned house.
They grew up fast by sucking the blood of cows, sheep and horses in the area. My little biped lizards create crop circles with obscenities, because they found a Hustler magazine and took that as an inspiration. Chip and Dale think hard before creating another one and they always come up with new things. You could say they are innovators. Last week they did a crop circle with two dildos French-kissing each other. Too bad they rarely show their creations on TV…
- - -
Sibel Catana is a psychologist and an artist. She is obsessed with the works of John Fowles, Salvador Dali, Rubens and Tchaikovsky. Her work was published in New Plains Review, Third Wednesday, Ascent Aspiration, Weave, Milton Keynes.
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