The (Snow) White Pages
By Matthew Nadelhaft
- - -
I received an MA in Creative Writing from Edinburgh Napier University. I’ve been a long-time reviewer for Tangent and TangentOnline and have published critical essays about Damon Knight, Thomas Disch, and Samuel Delany in Nova Express. I have published stories in “Blood and Lullabies,” the Reader’s Digest 100-word story competition, “An Electric Tragedy,” “DailyLove.com,” the “Zombies Ain’t Funny” anthology, and on ForbiddenFiction.com. More of my fiction is forthcoming at ForbiddenFiction and in “Drabblecast.” I have performed several times with the Edinburgh-based spoken-word group Illicit Ink and also act as their editor. In August I will be performing at the Edinburgh International Book Festival.
By Matthew Nadelhaft
Angie’s Sewing Supplies, 21 Abercorn St…………………………………….1471 879 2030
Perfect for sewing by the window. Not liable for pricks.
Beattie, Brenda, 56 Grindle Ave………………………………………………1481 954 4593
Qualified midwife. No fatalities.
Employment Centre for Failed Midwives, 1 Houston Sq……………………...1471 867 2312
Retraining and relocation in conjunction with the Midwife Protection Agency.
Fit-For-a-Queen Mortuary Services, 10 Tower Rd…………………………….1471 678 5904
Send them away in style. Mourners and buffet provided.
Freud’s Bereavement Counselling, 65 Mildew Rd…………………………….1481 545 9243
Get back on that horse and ride it. House and palace calls.
Future Queen Matchmaking, 10 Grantham Pl………………………………….1471 633 0776
Don’t tarry: remarry!
Gracious Glassworks, 88 Madison Ave………………………………………...1471 202 3441
Magic mirrors, polishing and tuning; bathroom cabinets, ceiling installations.
Happy Family Relationship Counselling, 2 Brook St…………………………..1481 656 2705
When the elephant in the room is part of the family.
It’s a Party!, 101 Terrance Ter……………………………………………….....1471 239 0666
Sweet-sixteen, balls, fetes, coming-of-age, bar/bat mitzvahs.
Jahnson, Jan, 404 Yonder Pl………………………………………………….1491 555 0101
Huntsman for hire. No task too grizzly. Discretion guaranteed.
Little People, Inc. 1018 Forest Grove…………………………………………1491 822 0011
Rooms to let, positions available. Housekeepers, miners wanted.
Marlowe, P., Private Investigator, 101 Striar View Suite 402…………………1481 677 1307
Missing persons, subpoenas served, divorces, background checks.
Mendelheim’s Cleaning Supplies, 220 Little Forest Way……………………...1491 744 0320
Everything you need for a life of domestic drudgery. Because you can’t always be a princess.
New and Used Costumes, 45 Dayton Sq……………………………………….1471 455 6902
Zombies, werewolves, political satire. Make-up for actors, fugitives, and door-to-door salespeople.
Nightshade Novelties, 45a Dayton Sq………………………………………….1471 455 6901
Combs that cut, strangling corsets and more. Lethal larks and practical jokes with a punch.
Perfect Poison Fruits and Vegetables, 14 Market Pl……………………………1471 799 2338
Ideal for rat and squirrel infestations, cruel teachers, spoiling Halloween.
Preservative Cryogenic Display.…...…………………………………………..
Why get rid of the dead when they make excellent décor? Glass coffins for pretty corpses!
Quests and Deeds, Inc., 25 Royal Mile W……………………….……….….....1471 202 6545
Bored Prince? Would-be Hero? Choose from our range of good deeds and tours. Minimal
danger, high probability of fame and/or marriage.
Royal Weddings, 100 Royal Mile S……………………………………………1471 233 7651
Tie the noble knot in style. DJ, sound-system, souvenir mugs and plates included.
Testy, Brenda, 58 Grindle Ave…………………………………………………1481 954 4593
Qualified midwife. No questions.
Virginal Antiquities, 61 Hillside Pl……………………………………………..1481 211 5854
Restoration and refitting. Glassworks a specialty. - - -
I received an MA in Creative Writing from Edinburgh Napier University. I’ve been a long-time reviewer for Tangent and TangentOnline and have published critical essays about Damon Knight, Thomas Disch, and Samuel Delany in Nova Express. I have published stories in “Blood and Lullabies,” the Reader’s Digest 100-word story competition, “An Electric Tragedy,” “DailyLove.com,” the “Zombies Ain’t Funny” anthology, and on ForbiddenFiction.com. More of my fiction is forthcoming at ForbiddenFiction and in “Drabblecast.” I have performed several times with the Edinburgh-based spoken-word group Illicit Ink and also act as their editor. In August I will be performing at the Edinburgh International Book Festival.
0 Responses
Post a Comment
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
