What's in a name?
By Joe Massingham
He was going bald and his face wore a worried look that appeared to have been built in. His shoulders drooped and his stomach sagged underneath the shapeless fawn raincoat.
He walked hesitantly into the office and looked around apprehensively.
The man at the counter didn’t look up from whatever he was staring at on the worktop.
“Yeah?” he grunted.
“I want to change my name,” said the visitor. “It’s too long.”
He walked slowly over to the counter, a sheaf of papers fluttering in his hand.
“See?” The sheaf waved across the counter. “I am just come from Cyprus; migrant. I have all these forms to fill in and every one wants my name, sometimes many times.”
‘Well, of course. We have to know who we’re dealing with. You could be Osama Bin Laden for all I know, though on second thought you couldn’t; he’s got a big beard. What’s your name anyway?”
The man took a deep breath.
“Alexandrophilippos Macedonipeloponnesiodyssseus. And these forms don’t have enough space for it so I can’t do anything; claim unemployment, housing assistance, training money; nothing.” His voice had risen to a plaintive whine. He watched intently. Only a slight twitch showed on the clerk’s face.
“Well, it is a bit longer than usual, I must admit. What do you want to change it to?”
“Lee King.” His voice sounded more hopeful.
“Why Lee King?”
“Well, it’s shorter. And the doctor suggested it.”
“The doctor? What’s he got to do with it?”
“Well, I wasn’t feeling too good when I got off the plane last week so they made me see the doctor they had there. He looked me over very thoroughly and told them he thought I probably had prostate problems or something like that. Then he tried to explain exactly what the problem was to me so I could keep an eye on it.
And all the time he was talking to me about it he told me I might be Lee King. It’s shorter and easier than my Greek name so I want to change to it.”
- - -
Bio: An ancient mariner, grew up in UK now resident in Canberra, Australia. Lifelong reader and dilettante writer. Have had poems and short fiction published overtime in a range of outlets from national journals to local newspapers. Now keen to write and publish more, experimenting with genres I've never tried as well as more conventional forms.
By Joe Massingham
He was going bald and his face wore a worried look that appeared to have been built in. His shoulders drooped and his stomach sagged underneath the shapeless fawn raincoat.
He walked hesitantly into the office and looked around apprehensively.
The man at the counter didn’t look up from whatever he was staring at on the worktop.
“Yeah?” he grunted.
“I want to change my name,” said the visitor. “It’s too long.”
He walked slowly over to the counter, a sheaf of papers fluttering in his hand.
“See?” The sheaf waved across the counter. “I am just come from Cyprus; migrant. I have all these forms to fill in and every one wants my name, sometimes many times.”
‘Well, of course. We have to know who we’re dealing with. You could be Osama Bin Laden for all I know, though on second thought you couldn’t; he’s got a big beard. What’s your name anyway?”
The man took a deep breath.
“Alexandrophilippos Macedonipeloponnesiodyssseus. And these forms don’t have enough space for it so I can’t do anything; claim unemployment, housing assistance, training money; nothing.” His voice had risen to a plaintive whine. He watched intently. Only a slight twitch showed on the clerk’s face.
“Well, it is a bit longer than usual, I must admit. What do you want to change it to?”
“Lee King.” His voice sounded more hopeful.
“Why Lee King?”
“Well, it’s shorter. And the doctor suggested it.”
“The doctor? What’s he got to do with it?”
“Well, I wasn’t feeling too good when I got off the plane last week so they made me see the doctor they had there. He looked me over very thoroughly and told them he thought I probably had prostate problems or something like that. Then he tried to explain exactly what the problem was to me so I could keep an eye on it.
And all the time he was talking to me about it he told me I might be Lee King. It’s shorter and easier than my Greek name so I want to change to it.”
- - -
Bio: An ancient mariner, grew up in UK now resident in Canberra, Australia. Lifelong reader and dilettante writer. Have had poems and short fiction published overtime in a range of outlets from national journals to local newspapers. Now keen to write and publish more, experimenting with genres I've never tried as well as more conventional forms.
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